So just last night (but after midnight, so really just earlier today) I wrote this whole long post about how I’ve grown up and I don’t want to take money from my parents anymore and all that stuff. I just checked the mail. I wish I hadn’t. This message came from Target: “Thank you for taking the time to apply with us. We are unable to offer you a position at this time, but we do appreciate your interest in Target.” I must say, when I didn’t get offered the position that day and didn’t hear back from them in the first few days, I didn’t think that sounded good, but I was still really hopeful that I’d get the job. I guess they found someone who was already a certified pharmacy tech. I’m trying not to be upset about this, but I really am. This sucks. A lot. I feel like I want to cry and throw up right now. The last thing I want to do right now is tell my parents, but I know I’m going to have to soon. Just not tonight. I can’t do it tonight. And now dinner is ready. I’m going to have to sit down with them and eat. Now I guess I go back to the drawing board and find abother job to apply for. This breaks my streak (until now I have been hired for every job I’ve interviewed for). I’m not really shocked, after the interview, but still. Rejection hurts.
i think i literally just grew up overnight. August 31, 2008
Ok, so for those of you who don’t really know me outside of the blogosphere, let me give you a little bit of a back story so that this makes more sense.
I am an only child. My parents have always been very protective of me and I’ve lived quite a “sheltered” life. We have never been rich, but for most of my childhood and adolescence we didn’t have to worry, either. Both of my parents had good jobs and I just always knew that my needs would be met, and my education would be paid for. That was great. Until my junior year of high school when my dad was fired from his job. My parents started using credit cards to pay for things, apparently not thinking of things like compound interest and finance charges. It got bad enough that we had to sell our house the summer after I graduated high school (luckily this was still during the housing boom, so they made enough to pay off most of their debts). It did not, however, leave enough money for me to go to college. Ever since then I have been in quite a conundrum. I took out student loans (in my name) for my second and third semesters of college, with the understanding that my parents would be responsible for their repayment. I was told that the loans were only in my name because their credit score was too low for them to qualify to have them in their names. Their story has changed twice since then. First to “we’ll help you out when we can,” to the most recent development of “I don’t know why we’re throwing our money away paying this bill. You need to get a job and start taking care of it yourself.” Needless to say, I have felt incredibly hurt and betrayed in this matter, and it has forever changed my relationship with my parents. I now know that I cannot trust them to do what’s best for me, but only what’s best for them, even if that means breaking their word. This is still painful to think about, but for some reason, I’m just over it now. Last night, I was lying in bed, listening to some Bruce Springsteen on my zune (not Bon Jovi this time *gasp*) and I suddenly knew that I don’t want their money anymore. They have held things over my head for far too long, and I’ve just let them. No more. I am 21 years old. I finally just had the realization that I am the only one that is responsible for me. They are obviously not going to take care of me, and I don’t want them to anymore. I have complained about this for a long time, and I know, Kim, that you are yelling “FINALLY!” but this is just a place that I had to come to on my own. I’m ready now. I guess I wasn’t in the past. Last night we were trying to decide what to do for dinner, and my mom suggested ordering takeout (probably $30-50). I sarcastically replied, “what, do you have a money tree in the back yard that you haven’t told me about?” (I mainly said this because I saw the look on my dad’s face, and he was thinking the same thing, but he doesn’t have the balls to say stuff like that out loud). Well, she was not happy with this and decided to pout and sulk for the rest of the night (my dad ended up grilling some pork chops for dinner). I have never in my life seen someone as old as my mother be as immature as she is. If something makes me mad, I’m mad for 10-15 minutes and I’m over it. She stays pissed the whole night. It’s really ridiculous. After dinner I made some comment (don’t remember what it was–wasn’t sarcastic or mean or anything), but she let me know how she’s still pissed off about what I said (expecting me to apologize/plead with her not to be upset–this tactic worked when I was a kid, but I’m over that too). I told her, “that’s too bad.” Then she says, “well I don’t see you complaining about money when it’s you that wants to go out to eat. We work our asses off, you don’t do $&%@ around here.” Extremely mature. I chose not to bite back. It’s just so much more satisfying to be the adult in the situation. So, after that altercation last night, I came to the realization that I don’t want their money. I few days ago I made out a list of things that I have paid for that I usually get reimbursed for (inculding my student loan payment). I don’t think I’m even going to ask them to pay me back this time. As long as I rely on them financially, I am allowing them to control me, and I don’t want to be controlled any longer. I’m ready to be a big girl now. I went to my credit card sites, looked up my balances and how much longer I have on my 0% interest, and what it will take each month to have them paid off in time. Let’s just say that it’s going to be extremely close. And I may have to pay interest for a couple months, but it is certainly doable. I can’t express how good it feels to not be beholden to anyone. I don’t “owe” them anything (financially or otherwise). I just have to manage to keep living here until May (everything should be paid off by then). After that, I should be making enough to get an apartment of my own (I will probably need a roommate, but we will see). I feel so much better about everything.
10 things I’m not ashamed to admit. August 17, 2008
1. I freaking love Bon Jovi (I don’t think I should be ashamed of this, but some people do…..).
2. I pick my nose. Deny it all you want, but I bet you do too.
3. I pee in the pool. Again, I think a lot of people do. If I need to go, I am not going to get out, dry off, go inside, take off my wet swimsuit and go and then put it back on and go back out. I’m just gonna go.
4. I’m a virgin.
5. I like opera. When I was in high school I wanted to be an opera singer.
6. I drink by myself sometimes, but I’m not an alcoholic.
7. I like the Miley Cyrus songs I’ve heard on the radio.
8. I like Star Trek. Not the original one with Shatner, but The Next Generation and Voyager. My dad watched it all while I was growing up, and I loved watching it with him.
9. I knit. And I like cats. (I guess this plus #4 means I’m on the fast-track to spinster/cat lady land…..)
10. I don’t know how to use the dishwasher. I can do it if I don’t have to push any buttons, only turn the dial so it starts.
just because it is fun. August 17, 2008
How does the world see you? Seat Next to You – Bon Jovi
Will I have a happy life? You Know I’m No Good – Amy Winehouse (HAHAHA!)
What do my friends really think of me? Hold Me Now – Jennifer Knapp
How can I make myself happy? These Days – Bon Jovi
Will I ever have children? Walking in Memphis – Marc Cohn
What is some good advice for me? Free Market Jesus – Don Miller (not a song, but very cool nonetheless)
How will I be remembered? Lucky – Bon Jovi
What is My Current Theme Song? Going Home – Sara Groves (I hope that doesn’t mean I’m dying!)
What does everyone else think my current theme song is? I Love This Town – Bon Jovi
What song will play at my funeral? Dirty Little Secret – Bon Jovi
What type of men do I like? Love Is a Losing Game – Amy Winehouse
Who do I love? The End – Bon Jovi
Am I going to get married? Fear – Bon Jovi
Who loves me? Temptation – Bon Jovi
Who will I marry? Milkshake – Kelis
My summer love forecast: America the Beautiful – Neil Young
What will tomorrow bring? I Wanna Be Moved – Ginny Owens
wow–this one is hilarious and freaky and depressing.
answers to the rest of the songs from my previous post August 12, 2008
1. Jungleland – Bruce Springsteen
2. Blowin’ in the Wind – Bob Dylan (I’m shocked nobody got this one!)
4. Heart of Gold – Neil Young
6. Follow You Home – Nickelback
8. Do What You Have to Do – Sarah McLachlan
9. Roger and Out – Neil Young
11. Blessed Be Your Name – Matt Redman
15. Dead Man Walking – Springsteen
16. Who Says You Can’t Go Home – Bon Jovi
18. Yes! - Coldplay
19. Angel Standing By – Jewel
20. Rosalita (Come Out Tonight) – Springsteen
21. Barcelona – Jewel
22. Painters – Jewel
24. Where the Streets Have No Name – U2
another zune survey August 3, 2008
Step 1: Put iTunes or equivalent on random.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 25 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 3: If you know one, post a comment with the title and artist.
Step 4: Don’t be a loser and look them up on Lyrics.com, Lyricwiki, etc.
Step 5: Bold out the songs when someone guesses correctly
(I’ve put a little more than the first line on some…)
1. The Rangers had a homecoming in Harlem late last night.
2. How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man?
3. Ride, cowboy, ride through the backdoor to Heaven, to the other side. I wanna know the danger of a kiss at midnight.
4. I wanna live, I wanna give, I’ve been a miner for a heart of gold.
5. Dressed up for a big date like Halloween day, but it was fourth of July now.
6. You can dig me up a grave and try and put me in the ground. You can tie me to the bed and try and beat me half to death, but you can never keep me down.
7. Misery likes company, I like the way that sounds.
8. What ravages of spirit conjured this temptuous rage
9. Trippin’ down that old hippie highway, got to thinkin’ ’bout you again.
10. I have climbed highest mountains. I have run through the fields only to be with you.
11. Blessed be Your Name in a land that is plentiful, where streams of abundance flow
12. Imagine there’s no Heaven, it’s easy if you try
13. I lost all faith in my God, in His religion too. I told the angels they could sing their songs to someone new.
14. Made in America, 1959, born down by the factories, ‘cross the Jersey city line.
15. There’s a pale horse comin’ and I’m gonna ride it.
16. I spent 20 years tryin’ to get outta this place.
17. Shot through the heart and you’re to blame…..
18. When it started we had high hopes, now my back’s on the line; my back’s on the ropes
19. All through the night I’ll be watching over you
20. Spread out now Rosie, doctor come cut loose her mama’s reins
21. Barcelona, where the winds all blew, the churches don’t have windows but the graveyards do.
22. 80 years, an old lady now, sitting on the front porch watching clouds roll by
23. Stacey’s mom has got it goin’ on….
24. I want to run. I want to hide, I want to tear down these walls that hold me inside.
25. It’s been one week since you looked at me, cocked your head to the side and said, “I’m angry.”
zune survey July 7, 2008
ok, so the last survery was everything I have on iTunes. I think this one will be more authentic because it’s only the stuff I put on my zune.
How does the world see you?
With a Little Help from My Friends – Bon Jovi (live Beatles cover)
Will I have a happy life?
Bad Medicine – Bon Jovi (live album)
What do my friends really think of me?
Gotta Have a Reason – Bon Jovi
How can I make myself happy?
It’s My Life – Bon Jovi (live album)
Will I ever have children?
Generations – Sara Groves (WHOA! this song is about how decisions you make will affect future generations)
What is some good advice for me?
Postcards from the Wasteland – Bon Jovi (bonus track from Bounce)
How will I be remembered?
Fallen from Graceland – Richie Sambora (well I DO live in Memphis!)
What is My Current Theme Song?
Holy Spirit, Come to Us – Taizé
What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
I’ll Be There for You – Bon Jovi (original version)
What song will play at my funeral?
Runaway – Bon Jovi (too bad it’s not the live version–I like it more than the original)
What type of men do I like?
The Answer – Richie Sambora
Who do I love?
Ballad of Youth – Richie Sambora
Am I going to get married?
Losing My Religion – REM
Who loves me?
Conversations – Sara Groves
Who will I marry?
Living in Sin – Bon Jovi (looks like I ain’t getting married!)
My summer love forecast:
Out of Bounds – Bon Jovi
What will tomorrow bring?
Get Back – Bon Jovi (Beatles cover)
so it seems that there is an inordinate amount of Bon Jovi showing up on this shuffle! I have 47 albums on my zune (haven’t gotten to individual songs yet), but 22 of them are Bon Jovi (ok, so that didn’t work….I was going to say “I only have _____ Bon Jovi albums on there!” but I guess I have more Bon Jovi than I thought…..ok.)
iTunes survey July 5, 2008
How does the world see you?
Everything Will Be Alright – The Killers
Will I have a happy life?
Line Dancing-Selling Avon – Shirley Q. Liquor
What do my friends really think of me?
Light My Candle – Rent (the musical)
How can I make myself happy?
Purple Haze – Jimi Hendrix
Will I ever have children?
Everybody’s Changing – Keane
What is some good advice for me?
Wait – Death Cab for Cutie (WHOA!)
How will I be remembered?
Unemployment – Shirley Q. Liquor (LOL!!!!!!)
What is My Current Theme Song?
Stacy’s Mom – Fountains of Wayne (yep.)
What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
In the Early Morning Rain – Peter, Paul, and Mary
What song will play at my funeral?
Set Me as a Seal – Concordia Choir
What type of men do I like?
Killing Me Softly – Carly Simon
Who do I love?
Fire and Rain – James Taylor
Am I going to get married?
No Day but Today – Rent
Who loves me?
Song Beneath the Song – Maria Taylor
Who will I marry?
Blackbird – CSNY
My summer love forecast:
The Boys Are Back in Town – Bon Jovi (Thin Lizzy cover)
What will tomorrow bring?
Crashin’ a Wake – Shirley Q. Liquor
I seriously did not cheat on this (other than skipping the opera tracks)
bucket list June 10, 2008
Well, I don’t really like the term “bucket list,” but right now I can’t think of anything better to call it, as “things to do before I die” is a really long title. I’ve been compiling some sort of list in my head for a while now, so I guess I could just write it down.
in no particular order:
1. see Bon Jovi perform in Dublin (this will probably happen next tour, but I have to get a passport and $$$).
2. visit Portland, Oregon (I think I want to live there, but I’ve never been, so I might hate it…..it will be good to take a little trip there to see before I decide to pick up and move to the other side of the country!)
3. bungee jump/hang glide/parasail/sky dive (any/all of these–I am planning to bungee jump when I go to Pigeon Forge in October….)
4. visit Taize (this is a biggie–I can’t wait to go do this! again, need passport and $$$)
5. go on a CPT delegation (again, need the passport….)
6. visit Dover, England (white cliffs!)
this is about all I have right now.
yes–two posts in one day–unheard of! March 20, 2008
so I totally stole this from David Crowder’s blog, but it was just so funny I couldn’t resist.
these are for sale on ebay. it is obvious what they are: fishsticks, frozen in the shape of three crosses. this is significant because fishsticks don’t come like that, frozen in the shape of a cross. and there are three of them! also, it is good friday in two days. the bidding should wrap up in time to get them by then. if you find this inspirational, go to ebay and search for: Good Friday Miracle Fish Sticks. i have copied the correspondence section from the ebay auction page that contains questions directed to the seller from the bidders and the answers from the seller regarding the miraculous fish. it follows here:
“Item Specifics – Item Condition
Condition:
New
EBAY removed our first listing because high perceived shipping costs. We have adjusted the starting price to reflect the cost of next day shipping in 5 lbs of dry ice.
Up for auction just in time for the Holy Days, a COMPLETE set of Good Friday Miracle Fish Sticks.
It’s not unusual to find a couple of fish sticks stuck together in each box. But imagine my shock when I poured out the contents of my Super Walmart brand fish sticks to feed my horde of “rhythm method” spaced offspring. I didn’t find just one or two stuck together in any haphazard way. There were 3 sets of 2. And what was unusual was that they formed an almost perfect replication of the hill at Calvary on Good Friday.
It was all I could do to keep the Catholic schoolgirl in me from falling to my knees and making the sign of the cross.
I have been praying for a long time for a new van. Maybe that’s why God sent me these fish sticks.
Winning bidder will receive the complete set of Good Friday Miracle Fish Sticks in their original packaging (minus the other fish sticks my hungry children consumed). I will pack in dry ice in a Styrofoam cooler and ship the next day.
Free Shipping.
You have no business being such a liar and a scam artist. I am ashamed to be from the same hometown. THANK GOD I don’t live there anymore. May HE have pity on your soul.ladygrace23,
Grace…
He already did. He had SO much pity He sent his Son to die for me. And I believe He can appreciate a good sense of humor. Sorry you aren’t living up to your name.
- kjlandis
Dear kjlandis,
HI! just want to let people know, Its not a scam, i just saw the news and its all true, the lady is trying to get a van because her family needs transportation, this is not even close to a scam. On the news they even showed how they bought a couple of packs and no fish sticks came out that way. Dont listen to the people that say its fake, i do believe they are very special. good luck on your sale, i think it will turn out well.
GOOD LUCK! GOD BLESS YOU!
P.S. i saw you on tv :)- ihor14
Thank you for your encouragement. 1 Thessalonians 5:11
”Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”
-kjlandis
Does this auction include the Holy Tartar Sauce as well? atomicceo,
Sorry, no. That was already auctioned off with a fish stick with the image of Jesus on it, wasn’t it?
- kjlandis
I have irritable bowel syndrome. Do you think if I swallowed these whole they might jam sideways in my colon and afford me some degree of control? polksalet123,
The miracle working properties of the fish sticks have yet to be determined.
- kjlandis
Do you find it odd that Jesus and the Gorton’s fisherman look alike?- scottkeene
He looks a lot more like my dad.
- kjlandis
If I stir these fish sticks in water will it turn into wine? Money well
spent if it does.- ccgadman
To my knowledge, these fish sticks have no wine making capabilities.
- kjlandis
Are they Kosher?- polemicpaul
Seeing that they are in my freezer next to my Easter Sausage, even if they were kosher going in I doubt they are now.
But the bible says…”Of all the creatures living in the water of the seas and the streams, you may eat any that have fins and scales” Leviticus 11:9
- kjlandis
I’m not Catholic, can I bid on them anyway? Also, since I’m not, and say I win, I won’t experience bad luck or anything for stepping across some kinda sacramental line or something will I?- dhudie
Bidding on these fish sticks is open to all, and will definitely not bring you any bad luck!
- kjlandis
Do they come with a certificate of authenticity, the original box and cash register reciept, or anything? How do I know you didn’t just hot melt glue them together in an art class or something?- dhudie
There is no certification or receipt. They are still in the original packaging, less the other (eaten) fish sticks that came in the box of course. And if I glued them together, why would I ship them in dry ice?
- kjlandis
I’d like enough fish and wine for about 5000 people. How many boxes before you have it? Also, what if I don’t have it by Good Friday? That would be bad if I didn’t. Not good at all.- colemolefootball
There are 6 fish sticks to a serving and 7 servings per box. Our calculations show that it would take 715 boxes of fish sticks to feed 5000 people.
And we aren’t licensed to sell alcohol.
- kjlandis
I am not pious enough to own this. Do you have any upside down crosses like the one Saint Peter died on?-cshade0506,
Sorry. This auction contains my entire inventory of fish stick crosses. Your humility is admirable.
- kjlandis”
