Top 10 January 7, 2009

favorite songs:
1) 4th of July (Sandy) – Bruce Springsteen
2) Sounds of Silence – Simon and Garfunkel
3) America – Simon and Garfunkel
4) Thunder Road – Bruce Springsteen
5) Heart of Gold – Neil Young
6) Wild Horses – Natasha Bedingfield
7) These Days – Bon Jovi
8) Dry County – Bon Jovi
9) Wonderful Tonight – Eric Clapton
10) The River – Bruce Springsteen

favorite movies:
1) Pulp Fiction
2) V for Vendetta
3) Wanted
4) The Story of Us
5) The Sound of Music
6) The Prestige
7) Dan in Real Life
8) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
9) What Dreams May Come
10) The Family Stone

favorite books:
1) For the Time Being – Annie Dillard
2) Searching for God Knows What – Donald Miller
3) Prozac Nation – Elizabeth Wurtzel
4) As I Lay Dying – William Faulkner
5) Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? – Edward Albee
6) Othello – William Shakespeare
7) Absalom! Absalom! – William Faulkner
8) Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte
9) Through Painted Deserts – Donald Miller
10) Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert

favorite TV shows:
1) Nightly News with Brian Williams
2) Damages
3) Mad Men
4) Grey’s Anatomy
5) Countdown with Keith Olbermann
6) Breaking Bad
7) Two and a Half Men
8) Worst Week
9) Good Eats
10) Chelsea Lately

10 things I’m not ashamed to admit. August 17, 2008

1. I freaking love Bon Jovi (I don’t think I should be ashamed of this, but some people do…..).

2. I pick my nose. Deny it all you want, but I bet you do too.

3. I pee in the pool. Again, I think a lot of people do. If I need to go, I am not going to get out, dry off, go inside, take off my wet swimsuit and go and then put it back on and go back out. I’m just gonna go.

4. I’m a virgin.

5. I like opera. When I was in high school I wanted to be an opera singer.

6. I drink by myself sometimes, but I’m not an alcoholic.

7. I like the Miley Cyrus songs I’ve heard on the radio.

8. I like Star Trek. Not the original one with Shatner, but The Next Generation and Voyager. My dad watched it all while I was growing up, and I loved watching it with him.

9. I knit. And I like cats. (I guess this plus #4 means I’m on the fast-track to spinster/cat lady land…..)

10. I don’t know how to use the dishwasher. I can do it if I don’t have to push any buttons, only turn the dial so it starts.

just because it is fun. August 17, 2008

How does the world see you? Seat Next to You – Bon Jovi

Will I have a happy life? You Know I’m No Good – Amy Winehouse (HAHAHA!)

What do my friends really think of me? Hold Me Now – Jennifer Knapp

How can I make myself happy? These Days – Bon Jovi

Will I ever have children? Walking in Memphis – Marc Cohn

What is some good advice for me? Free Market Jesus – Don Miller (not a song, but very cool nonetheless)

How will I be remembered? Lucky – Bon Jovi

What is My Current Theme Song? Going Home – Sara Groves (I hope that doesn’t mean I’m dying!)

What does everyone else think my current theme song is? I Love This Town – Bon Jovi

What song will play at my funeral? Dirty Little Secret – Bon Jovi

What type of men do I like? Love Is a Losing Game – Amy Winehouse

Who do I love? The End – Bon Jovi

Am I going to get married? Fear – Bon Jovi

Who loves me? Temptation – Bon Jovi

Who will I marry? Milkshake – Kelis

My summer love forecast: America the Beautiful – Neil Young

What will tomorrow bring? I Wanna Be Moved – Ginny Owens

wow–this one is hilarious and freaky and depressing.

another zune survey August 3, 2008

Step 1: Put iTunes or equivalent on random.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 25 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 3: If you know one, post a comment with the title and artist.
Step 4: Don’t be a loser and look them up on Lyrics.com, Lyricwiki, etc.
Step 5: Bold out the songs when someone guesses correctly

(I’ve put a little more than the first line on some…)

1. The Rangers had a homecoming in Harlem late last night.
2. How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man?
3. Ride, cowboy, ride through the backdoor to Heaven, to the other side. I wanna know the danger of a kiss at midnight.
4. I wanna live, I wanna give, I’ve been a miner for a heart of gold.
5. Dressed up for a big date like Halloween day, but it was fourth of July now.
6. You can dig me up a grave and try and put me in the ground. You can tie me to the bed and try and beat me half to death, but you can never keep me down.
7. Misery likes company, I like the way that sounds.
8. What ravages of spirit conjured this temptuous rage
9. Trippin’ down that old hippie highway, got to thinkin’ ’bout you again.
10. I have climbed highest mountains. I have run through the fields only to be with you.
11. Blessed be Your Name in a land that is plentiful, where streams of abundance flow
12. Imagine there’s no Heaven, it’s easy if you try
13. I lost all faith in my God, in His religion too. I told the angels they could sing their songs to someone new.
14. Made in America, 1959, born down by the factories, ‘cross the Jersey city line.
15. There’s a pale horse comin’ and I’m gonna ride it.
16. I spent 20 years tryin’ to get outta this place.
17. Shot through the heart and you’re to blame…..
18. When it started we had high hopes, now my back’s on the line; my back’s on the ropes
19. All through the night I’ll be watching over you
20. Spread out now Rosie, doctor come cut loose her mama’s reins
21. Barcelona, where the winds all blew, the churches don’t have windows but the graveyards do.
22. 80 years, an old lady now, sitting on the front porch watching clouds roll by
23. Stacey’s mom has got it goin’ on….
24. I want to run. I want to hide, I want to tear down these walls that hold me inside.
25. It’s been one week since you looked at me, cocked your head to the side and said, “I’m angry.”

iTunes survey July 5, 2008

How does the world see you?
Everything Will Be Alright – The Killers

Will I have a happy life?
Line Dancing-Selling Avon – Shirley Q. Liquor

What do my friends really think of me?
Light My Candle – Rent (the musical)

How can I make myself happy?
Purple Haze – Jimi Hendrix

Will I ever have children?
Everybody’s Changing – Keane

What is some good advice for me?
Wait – Death Cab for Cutie (WHOA!)

How will I be remembered?
Unemployment – Shirley Q. Liquor (LOL!!!!!!)

What is My Current Theme Song?
Stacy’s Mom – Fountains of Wayne (yep.)

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
In the Early Morning Rain – Peter, Paul, and Mary

What song will play at my funeral?
Set Me as a Seal – Concordia Choir

What type of men do I like?
Killing Me Softly – Carly Simon
 
Who do I love?
Fire and Rain – James Taylor

Am I going to get married?
No Day but Today – Rent

Who loves me?
Song Beneath the Song – Maria Taylor

Who will I marry?
Blackbird – CSNY

My summer love forecast:
The Boys Are Back in Town – Bon Jovi (Thin Lizzy cover)

What will tomorrow bring?
Crashin’ a Wake – Shirley Q. Liquor

 

I seriously did not cheat on this (other than skipping the opera tracks)

yes–two posts in one day–unheard of! March 20, 2008

so I totally stole this from David Crowder’s blog, but it was just so funny I couldn’t resist.

these are for sale on ebay. it is obvious what they are: fishsticks, frozen in the shape of three crosses. this is significant because fishsticks don’t come like that, frozen in the shape of a cross. and there are three of them! also, it is good friday in two days. the bidding should wrap up in time to get them by then. if you find this inspirational, go to ebay and search for: Good Friday Miracle Fish Sticks. i have copied the correspondence section from the ebay auction page that contains questions directed to the seller from the bidders and the answers from the seller regarding the miraculous fish. it follows here:

“Item Specifics – Item Condition
Condition:
New

EBAY removed our first listing because high perceived shipping costs. We have adjusted the starting price to reflect the cost of next day shipping in 5 lbs of dry ice.

Up for auction just in time for the Holy Days, a COMPLETE set of Good Friday Miracle Fish Sticks.
It’s not unusual to find a couple of fish sticks stuck together in each box. But imagine my shock when I poured out the contents of my Super Walmart brand fish sticks to feed my horde of “rhythm method” spaced offspring. I didn’t find just one or two stuck together in any haphazard way. There were 3 sets of 2. And what was unusual was that they formed an almost perfect replication of the hill at Calvary on Good Friday.

It was all I could do to keep the Catholic schoolgirl in me from falling to my knees and making the sign of the cross.

I have been praying for a long time for a new van. Maybe that’s why God sent me these fish sticks.

Winning bidder will receive the complete set of Good Friday Miracle Fish Sticks in their original packaging (minus the other fish sticks my hungry children consumed). I will pack in dry ice in a Styrofoam cooler and ship the next day.

Free Shipping.

You have no business being such a liar and a scam artist. I am ashamed to be from the same hometown. THANK GOD I don’t live there anymore. May HE have pity on your soul.ladygrace23,

Grace…
He already did. He had SO much pity He sent his Son to die for me. And I believe He can appreciate a good sense of humor. Sorry you aren’t living up to your name.

- kjlandis

Dear kjlandis,

HI! just want to let people know, Its not a scam, i just saw the news and its all true, the lady is trying to get a van because her family needs transportation, this is not even close to a scam. On the news they even showed how they bought a couple of packs and no fish sticks came out that way. Dont listen to the people that say its fake, i do believe they are very special. good luck on your sale, i think it will turn out well.
GOOD LUCK! GOD BLESS YOU!

P.S. i saw you on tv :)- ihor14

Thank you for your encouragement. 1 Thessalonians 5:11
”Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”

-kjlandis

Does this auction include the Holy Tartar Sauce as well? atomicceo,

Sorry, no. That was already auctioned off with a fish stick with the image of Jesus on it, wasn’t it?

- kjlandis

I have irritable bowel syndrome. Do you think if I swallowed these whole they might jam sideways in my colon and afford me some degree of control? polksalet123,

The miracle working properties of the fish sticks have yet to be determined.

- kjlandis

Do you find it odd that Jesus and the Gorton’s fisherman look alike?- scottkeene

He looks a lot more like my dad.

- kjlandis

If I stir these fish sticks in water will it turn into wine? Money well
spent if it does.- ccgadman

To my knowledge, these fish sticks have no wine making capabilities.

- kjlandis

Are they Kosher?- polemicpaul

Seeing that they are in my freezer next to my Easter Sausage, even if they were kosher going in I doubt they are now.
But the bible says…”Of all the creatures living in the water of the seas and the streams, you may eat any that have fins and scales” Leviticus 11:9

- kjlandis

I’m not Catholic, can I bid on them anyway? Also, since I’m not, and say I win, I won’t experience bad luck or anything for stepping across some kinda sacramental line or something will I?- dhudie

Bidding on these fish sticks is open to all, and will definitely not bring you any bad luck!

- kjlandis

Do they come with a certificate of authenticity, the original box and cash register reciept, or anything? How do I know you didn’t just hot melt glue them together in an art class or something?- dhudie

There is no certification or receipt. They are still in the original packaging, less the other (eaten) fish sticks that came in the box of course. And if I glued them together, why would I ship them in dry ice?

- kjlandis

I’d like enough fish and wine for about 5000 people. How many boxes before you have it? Also, what if I don’t have it by Good Friday? That would be bad if I didn’t. Not good at all.- colemolefootball

There are 6 fish sticks to a serving and 7 servings per box. Our calculations show that it would take 715 boxes of fish sticks to feed 5000 people.

And we aren’t licensed to sell alcohol.

- kjlandis

I am not pious enough to own this. Do you have any upside down crosses like the one Saint Peter died on?-cshade0506,

Sorry. This auction contains my entire inventory of fish stick crosses. Your humility is admirable.

- kjlandis”