This post was originally titled “time for a new post,” but in light of what came out as I was typing, I decided to rename it.
Well, since I haven’t updated since May, I figure now’s as good a time as any, even if I don’t have anything in particular to say. It’s not time for my annual Year in Review post, but I’m already thinking about my answers to some of the questions. This has been one hell of a year–lots of good, plenty of bad. I think I have done more growing up this year than any other I can remember. So much has changed. I bought a car (I still LOVE the fact that my name is on the title–the only name on it), I lost 32 pounds (and am still losing weight–40-60 lbs to go, I think), my best friend got divorced, I’ve been at my current job for 8 months (a record!)–the list goes on. Like I said, a lot has changed. I’ve settled into somewhat of a routine, and it’s not as soul-deadening as I thought it would be. I still crave adventure, and I still have so many plans and things I want to accomplish, but right now I’m comfortable. The biggest decision I need to make is whether or not to find a new job. I like my job just fine, but it is very hard on my car. I deliver pizzas (if you don’t know me well enough to know that). I put around 1500 miles on my car every month. I need to have this car for the next 5- 7 years (it won’t be paid off for 5, and then I need to save some money for the next one). If I get a day job, in an office or something, I won’t put as much wear on my car and it will last longer. BUT, I am feeling the pull to go back to school. I REALLY miss learning, and I really want to finish my degree (and, if I’m honest with myself, I want to go to graduate school). I’ve all but given up on the idea of not taking out more student loans (it’s just not practical….an education is more important to me at this point). If I do get an office job and work 9-5ish, that basically rules out school. The classes I would take aren’t generally offered at night, and I have no interest in online education.
As I’m writing this, the thoughts are crystalizing in my head, and I’m finally making up my mind. I’m going to go back to school and keep delivering pizzas at night. If I run my car into the ground, so be it. I’ll figure something out, and that won’t happen for years anyway.
Well…that was fun. Now I just need to figure out the specifics…where, when, how. I really miss the Carpenters–my favorite professors from Lipscomb–husband and wife lit profs. I would LOVE to study under them, but I don’t know if it’s worth going back to LU. I am still very conflicted in my religous views, and I worry that the Lipscomb environment would drive me to the point of no return, plus there are the issues of distance and expense to consider. Dana Carpenter is taking a sabbatical this next semester. I won’t be ready to go back until next fall, anyway, though. I went to the University of Memphis for 2 semesters, and I just didn’t fit in. I didn’t live on campus, so I didn’t make any real friends. I miss the sense of community that I had at Lipscomb. I miss A Cappella, I miss the interest that all the professors took in their students. LU was very different from U of M. I’m not entirely sure I want to go back to either. But living here in Memphis, I don’t have a lot of choices. Nashville has a plethora of colleges to choose from; Memphis, not so much. I can’t afford Rhodes (and might not have a high enough GPA to get in, anyway). I can’t afford Lipscomb, either. Hell, it’s all I can do to pay the bills I have now. But, I will fill out my FAFSA when I get my taxes done, and hopefully I will have something worked out by next fall. Sheesh. I am a nut. But I am young and alive. I’ll figure it out as I go.